Fostering

Years ago, in the early days of our marriage, God put a place in both our hearts and minds for children in foster care. At one point when Addison was a new born baby, we went to church with a single mom who had 3 young children she had adopted through foster care. One day, despite her house being what social workers would consider "full", she was called for an emergency placement of a tiny baby girl. We went by to visit that day and bring her lots of pink clothes and a supply of diapers and formula. We held "Baby Victoria" that day and have never forgotten it. Holding that tiny infant, who didn't have any family capable of caring for her and hearing her foster mom's words, "I won't have her forever, but I can love her while I do and let God handle the rest.", has stayed with us.

Last fall, I took Kelly Minter's bible study on the book of Nehemiah. The entire study asks over and over again what we will do with the gifts God has given us and how we will make a difference in the world. It talks about doing what you can, instead of just thinking about it. She challenges her readers to "Get out of the boat" and put your faith into action. By the second week foster care and what my family might be able to do for children in need began to come to mind. By week 6 that small stirring was a full blown conviction. Tommy was in complete agreement and by the end of last year we were certain that the time had come for us to begin looking at how to open our home for foster care. Every song, every worship set, every sermon and every passage we read began to relate back to foster care and as we prayed we felt certain that it was God's calling for us. For months, I could barely make it out of a church service without tears. Several basic thoughts kept coming back to us.
~There is room at our table, and in our car and in our house and most of all in our hearts.
~To whom much has been given, much is expected.
We have so much and when you think of it in terms of all we have been given, it seems pretty simple to open our home to a child who isn't having their needs met and to love them and care for them while they need it most. If, at some point, a little one comes into our home, we will consider it a privilege to be God's hands and feet in caring for one of his children.

After several months of praying and considering if this was indeed the right time, I went to an information meeting in January for people considering foster care. It's funny how these things just fall in line. One day I shared with a close friend, for the first time, that foster parenting was on our hearts. It just so happened that her church was holding an information session, in our town, that weekend. I love how God works. All week I was nervous about attending the meeting and wouldn't quite fully commit to it. The Sunday of the meeting came and I wasn't feeling that great and was in a terrible mood. It was yet another below freezing day with snow and ice in the miserable winter we had last year. I believe it was our 4th time that year to miss church, because of bad roads. I had a million excuses to skip the meeting that afternoon, but Tommy encouraged me to go (he was staying with the girls). By the time the meeting started the roads had begun to clear and he and the girls dropped me off at my friend's church. It's funny how an hour focusing on someone else can make you feel 1,000 times better. My pity party for myself and my bad mood were instantly gone. That day we registered to begin the certification classes the next weekend.
Our girls have been on board with having a foster brother or sister from the very beginning. As we have gone through training, they have learned with us. In January we started a series of 14 Saturday morning sessions. We left the house every weekend at 8:15 am and were in training until 12:00. The girls had child care there and made great friends along the way. The picture at the top was at the end of April, having a celebration lunch at Chuys after our last training.
Of course, nothing is ever simple, so we were about mid-way through our training when we found out that Tommy would be accepting a promotion in Arkansas. I made a few phone calls to DCHS in both states and with a tentative commitment that Arkansas DCHS would accept our training from Ohio, we continued on.
Now, since moving to Arkansas we have completed an initial homestudy, gotten a waiver to officially approve our training, filled out a million documents, had physicals, done background checks in 3 different states and completed FBI fingerprinting. We are just starting a homegroup at church that is for families who are fostering or have an interest in foster care. We are thankful to have found a church here that is strongly vested in helping these kids. We are doing some final things around the house (think crazy child-proofing things we never did for our own children) and waiting for a CPR and First Aid class. We should be ready for our final home study in the next few weeks and hope to have our home "open" after we return from a Thanksgiving trip to Texas.

We tell the girls all the time that we hope the call never comes for a child placement, because if the phone isn't ringing, that means a child is not being traumatically removed from their home and parents. But, if the time does come, we want to be ready. Would you join us in praying for children who need a home. Pray for them, for the restoration of their birth families. Throughout this process our hearts have grown tremendously not only for the children in care, but also for their families. For families who love their children, but have made some bad choices or are in a bad place. Pray that those birth parents are shown love and given guidance to get back on their feet, and for our home or any other foster home that can help them in the process.

The Last Three Days

Menchie's with the crew after their last gymnastics class. It was the 2nd to last day of school, 9pm at night and the movers had started that morning.

The day before the movers arrived, the big girls were at their next to last day of school and I took Gracyn with her friends to have one last swim at the neighborhood pool.

We had such a sweet morning with this crew, while I continued in my state of DENIAL!!!

This was the last picture we ever took in our neighborhood. It is hard for me to look at it now and actually a few days ago, when I printed it for Gracyn for a school project, she started to cry. We quickly printed a new picture. Too many emotions wrapped up in this one. The truck had just pulled away, the house was locked up and we were saying prayers with the Janzen's and Leslie's and then walking down the cul-de-sac to our car for the last time.

More Menchies.

Our friends were all sweet to have us over for dinner during the move. So nice, since it's hard to cook when your kitchen is packed, plus it gave us every extra second we could have with them.

After the mover's finished their second day, I left Tommy and a few other dads playing with kids in the maze of boxes around our house and snuck out for one last night with my favorite fellow Mamas at Melting Pot. 

Another dinner with friends. The Sphire's had us this night. We grilled out, fished (I caught my first fish) played outside and threw water balloons. My crew think their house is better than DisneyWorld.

Every year, I host a big ice-cream sundae party at our house on the last day of school. This year, would be day 2 of our movers packing, but we didn't let that stop us. Thankfully, the Leslies let us set up in their driveway. I hauled all the ice-cream and supplies down there and I think we had about 30 kids playing in sprinklers, running around the cul-de-sac, eating ice-cream and celebrating summer! Apparently, between supervising movers and dishing ice-cream I was too busy to take pictures, because this is the only one I have.

After the sad neighborhood good-bye, we checked into a local hotel for the night and the Bowles family came over for one last evening together.

We had dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings and then came back to swim.

We played at the pool for a few hours and tried to ignore the big good-bye looming over us, but it was tough.

The end came to soon and I think we were all totally spent and just emotionally drained. It is a lot for an adult to process and even more for the kids. I am proud of how my girls handle it. They are sad, but also, they know how to embrace the new adventure.

One last group picture. After this, it was pretty much the ugly cry. We said good-bye to our sweet friends and tucked in some very emotional little girls. We had just a few hours to sleep before heading out to Addison's show. And, I should mention, the dog was pretty much a wreck at this point as well. All the house packing activity and a hotel stay had made her a bit jittery!

One last picture of Dunlop Court. The truck was loaded and they were just heading off.

Beckett Run Show

Just a few weeks before we left Ohio, Addison's riding instructors told me they thought she was ready for her first show. The show ended up being on the day we were to leave for Arkansas. But, in the true spirit of squeezing out every last second of fun in Ohio, we booked her first show. We saw the movers off from our house Saturday evening, checked in the nearest hotel we could find to the show grounds and were at the show at 7am the next day. We had the car loaded with luggage for the next few days, the dog and everything we would need before we met up with the movers in Arkansas.

The show was at Beckett Run Stables and she rode Ripley in 3 events, 2 walk/trot classes and a ground poles class. We met her instructors, Sharon and Jose and several other girls from her stables there and got ready to ride. It was a gloomy morning, threatening to rain any second, to they didn't waste any time.

Here she is waiting for her number to be called.

Here is her cheering squad. Looking back, we all look a little exhausted and shocked. It had been a very emotional few days.

She did so well!!! She won first place in all 3 of her events and then an additional ribbon for the "Clean Sweep". We were all so excited for her. The funniest part was that she couldn't remember her number, so as they were calling out winners, she didn't know she had won. I whispered it to her as she passed by where we were sitting in the stands. 

Taking Ripley over the ground poles.

Blue Ribbons!!!

Addison and Mrs. Sharon. We couldn't have asked for better instructors to help take her love of horses to a skilled hobby. I will always be grateful for her start at J&S Stables.

We had a few minutes to celebrate with her before it was time to jump in the car for a 12 hour drive.

It was a great way to leave. We were all so pumped up and excited, it was a good distraction from the sadness of leaving and the long car trip. We spent the fist few hours of the drive on the phone telling everyone about her big win! Before we knew it we were passing the big arch in St. Louis.

Then, a few hours later, right at dark we were rolling in here. Busy day, to say the least.

Last Day at King's Island

We squeezed fun into every last second we had in Ohio! This was one week from move date. Tommy was out of town and the girls and  I decided to have one last day of fun at King's Island. It was a big debate, since we aren't used to paying a daily rate, but we obviously weren't going to be getting season passes. We picked a weekday, during school,when it wouldn't be too busy and just went for it. I am so glad we did. It goes down as one of my happiest days!

Amanda came with Camden and Tessa and Mandy came with Elle. We met at the park as soon as the gates opened. We had the place nearly to ourselves and rode ride after ride all day. I rode the log ride with the kids 4 times!!! Mandy and Amanda don't like to get their hair wet. I don't mind that and will ride the Log Ride all day, if the will ride the spinning rides with my crew. Win, win!

Taking a quick lunch break.

They LOVE going through this water maze. They did it over and over again for an hour. I think they were freezing!

Silly girls making mustaches.

Mandy and the girls spinning. I am watching happily from the side.

Amanda spinning with Gracyn and her boyfriend.

These 2 were sharing a stroller.

We were headed out of the park after 7 hours and they were tired. We had 4 kids and 1 stroller, so they took turns and rode in laps.

We headed home at 3:00 to get Addison and Reagan off the bus and head right back up there. Megan, Olivia and Meredith joined us for the evening half and we closed the place down.

On the Viking Ship with my crazy girl. She wants to love these rides, but truthfully, I think she is a little like me and they are making her 1/2 nauseous.

More Viking Ship with some of my favorite girls. Reagan and Olivia had ridden a water ride 3 times in a row before this. They were soaked.

Gracyn won a cute puppy while all the big kids were off on a roller coaster she wasn't tall enough for.

Addison and Meredith rode Vortex twice in a row without getting off. Megan was smart and got off after the first round. Wise choice, since you could actually smell vomit in the exit area.

Reagan doesn't like Vortex, so she and I took a turn on Windseeker. I don't know how high those swings are, but it feels like you can see the whole town from up there.

Back to the water maze with the big girls.

They closed at 8:00. We were hoping for 10, but were thankful that we had all those hours in a quiet park, with fun friends, making one last set of memories at such a fun place.

Going Away Party

A few weeks before we left, our Ohio friends hosted a good-bye party in our cul-de-sac. The Leslie's driveway was our home base and the kids ran from house to house and up and down the street. The Leslies, Bowles and Sphire families worked hard to put it all together and I think we ended up having about 50 to 60 people come throughout the night. The adorable chalkboard you see above ended up with more and more decorations throughout the night, as the kids signed their names and drew on it. I sprayed it with a sealant and it now hangs in our garage here in Arkansas. 

Denial was my coping mechanism leading up to the move. I just pretty much refused to think about leaving! We did all the "stuff", and there is tons of it, required for buying/selling a house and moving a family of 5 across the country, but in my day to day activities, I just did my best not to think about it. That strategy makes a good-bye party a little tricky. We just enjoyed the evening and when someone brought up moving, I quickly changed the topic. It helped that due to scheduling we had to have the party about 6 weeks before we actually left. 

I adore all theses families so much!!! The parents and the children. They made a mid-western state, that meant nothing to us, so special!!! Cincinnati wasn't exactly on the list of places we wanted to live, but we wouldn't trade it for the world. Our neighborhood, schools, church and life with all the people you see here were more than we could possibly have wished for or imagined when we arrived there 3 years ago. My girls consider themselves "From Ohio". Writing this post now, and looking at the pictures from just a few months ago, makes my miss them all like crazy!

Throughout the night we played basketball, jumped on the trampoline, played on Cody's playset, rode bikes and scooters and ate loads of junk food. The pictures make me laugh, because the grown ups are dressed for winter and the kids are barefoot. Clearly we operate on different body temperatures. They may have also been a little more active than we were.

We learned so much and grew as a family during our Cincinnati days. I know this place and these people will always be dear to us. I see many visits back "home" in our future.